


Palos Verdes

by imdisappointingmyparents



Series: Bona Dea [2]
Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Femslash February, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Nostalgia, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Remembrance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-19 10:57:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5964733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imdisappointingmyparents/pseuds/imdisappointingmyparents
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the one-year anniversary of the night on the mountain.<br/>To take their minds off the trauma, Emily and Jess go on a brief excursion.</p><p>(Takes place in the same universe as "The Widows", although you don't have to have read it).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Palos Verdes

**Author's Note:**

> This work has not been beta read.

The day one year after the mountain started peacefully enough. Emily woke up, went to class, sent out a few emails to follow up on some potential internships, and spent the bus ride from Pomona to Los Angeles absorbed in her phone. She didn't even realize the significance of the date until she looked up from Pinterest long enough to spot the headline on the back of a newspaper some woman was reading (honestly _,_ who even read newspapers anymore?) She felt her pulse quicken as her gaze ghosted across the blocky headline:

**Year Has Passed Since Blackwood Tragedy: Authorities Still Looking for Answers**

She sucked in a breath and blew it out through her nose, during her head in her phone once again.  _Just don't think about it. Just don't think about it. Just don't..._

Oh, fuck it. How could she  _not_ think about it? About the hellish, impossible creatures that had hunted them, the sight of Ashley covered in blood, the rush of panic and adrenaline as the fire tower had come down in an avalanche of fire and metal, the mines full of monsters and fire and bones, the click of a revolver pointed straight at her head, the fire, the shock, the grief? How could she not remember Matt's desperate hand reaching down for her own, and the later realization that her words of fire and poison thrust at him would be among the last words he'd ever hear?

The bus trembled as it went over a patch of gravel. Emily went absolutely still.  _Don't move._

The man seated immediately to her right looked at her pale face, her rigid body, and reached out a concerned hand.

"Hey, lady, you alright? You don't look so good."

He put his hand down on her shoulder. The bitten one. A flashback of snarling and exploding doors and searing pain overcame her. She screamed and lurched out of her seat. Realizing she was drawing stares, Emily collected herself and stood. She got off at the first stop she could and ducked into a random café. Alternative rock music, the kind with needlessly depressing lyrics and guitar riffs that lasted just a little too long, reached her ears as she sat down at the nearest table and closed her eyes.

"Easy now, Em" she whispered to herself, "In and out."

After a moment or two she fluttered her eyes open again. She'd wandered into a humble, kitschy coffee shop with peeling paint and shelves full of bizarre knick-knacks; mostly novelty crap, the kind you'd give a friend as a joke. Emily fought the urge to gag; clearly these people needed the help of an interior designer in the worst way. But there were enough people in here that she supposed that the coffee must be at least decent. A loud, barking laugh drew her attention toward a table near the back, where a burly guy covered in bad tattoos and so many piercings Emily was surprised he wasn't attracting every magnet in town was deep in conversation with a scarred young woman that she recognized immediately. Emily stood up and walked over to the table where the two sat, talking.

"Jess?" she asked, paying no mind to the conversation she was pretty blatantly interrupting. Jessica broke off mid-sentence and looked up at her.

"Em! Hey!" she said, sounding mildly surprised. "I didn't think you'd come to a place like this."

"Long story," Emily muttered, "This place isn't really your scene either, is it, Jess?"

"No, not really," Jess replied, looking around and wrinkling her nose at the décor, "Not at all. But I ran into Tom here—" she gestured to the inked-up man sitting across from her, who gave Emily a polite smile—"He's a friend of my brother, and he saw me walking by here and said I looked down, so he asked me if I wanted to grab a bite at a place he knew."

Tom smiled again. Emily raised an eyebrow.

"I have a boyfriend," Tom said quickly, "I know you guys are together. Believe me, I wouldn't—"

"Good boy," Emily interrupted him, "Let's keep it that way." She put a hand on Jessica's arm, gently but firmly. "Let's go, Jess."

Jessica rolled her eyes.

"Hold your damn horses, Em. I'm almost done with my drink."

"Fine," Emily grumbled.

"Would you like to join us?" Tom offered. "Jess was just telling me about your guys' arrangement." Goddamn, this guy was so fucking genial, even in the face of complete hostility. Emily huffed and dragged a chair over to their table before sitting down.

They spent the better part of the next hour lost in conversation, laughing and joking about this thing and that. Emily couldn't help but chastise herself for taking such an immediate liking to the guy, but he was so damn magnetic that she frankly couldn't help but enjoy his company. They told him about how Em, Jess, Sam and Ash had all come together in the months before, about the weird, wonderful nature of their relationship, about how they hoped to one day get an apartment together. Tom in turn told them about his boyfriend, whom he'd met working a shitty retail job in Long Beach. Meeting him, Tom said, was the one thing that kept him from using all the flowery language he'd learned studying poetry in college to tell all the customers to go fuck themselves in creative ways, knocking his boss's teeth out, and quitting in a blaze of irreverent glory. After the conversation had ended and Tom took off, Em and Jess sat across from each other in companionable silence.

"Why're you downtown?" Emily asked at last, "I thought you said you were gonna be chilling at home today."

Everyone was keeping to themselves today—well, except for Sam, who was with the Washingtons for the day. Sam had always been like a daughter to them, so maybe having her there gave them some kind of comfort. Emily hoped so.

"I mean, I was doing that," Jess said, "But, like, I just kept thinking about last year, and I couldn't stop, so, like, I thought I'd do some retail therapy, you know?" She lowered her eyes. "I still can't believe it really happened."

"Me neither," Emily mumbled. Even after a year to process everything, it still felt like a dream. She kept waking up and reaching for her phone, only to remember that Matt would never, ever answer her texts.

"Did we deserve it?" Jessica's voice was small. Emily swallowed. This was a question she'd asked herself a lot. After everything with Hannah and Beth she couldn't help but think of last year's events as at least a little bit karmic. But.

"Nobody deserves that," Emily told her. "Not what we went through. Nobody ever deserves to have that happen to them."

"Maybe..." Jess mumbled. She looked out the window. Emily wrung her hands underneath the table and tried to drown out the hissing tea kettle that sounded far too much like the screech of a wendigo.

Suddenly, an idea came to her.

"Hey," Emily said, "Want to go to the cliffs?"

Jess blinked.

"Now?"

"Sure, why not?" Emily said, "We'd just take the bus back to my place and head out. We'd probably get there by nightfall."

Jess bit her lip and stared into her empty coffee mug.

"I don't know, Em."

"Come on, it'll be fun," Emily told her. "Besides, if we stay in here too long we're gonna spontaneously get undercuts and shitty unicorn tattoos. I've seen it happen. It's horrific."

Jessica smiled a little.

"Is that a 'yes'?" Emily asked.

"That's a 'I know you're not gonna take no for an answer on this one'," Jessica retorted.

"Good enough for me," Emily said. She stood up and stretched, ignoring the dull ache in her shoulder.

"C'mon, let's get out of here. This place is corrupting us. I can feel my taste in music getting shittier by the minute."

\------------

The first time Emily and Jess went to the cliffs together, they were thirteen, newly best friends, and singling along to sugary pop songs in the back of Jess's dad's car while said dad forced a smile and probably fought mightily to suppress the urge to stop the car right there and tell them to walk the rest of the way of they didn't shut up. Emily was still in a bit of shock, bewildered that she had a  _friend_ for the first time in her life. She'd spent elementary school as the chunky, nerdy teacher's pet who was alway picked last for games and sat alone at lunch, watching the other kids play through thick prescription glasses. The summer before she got to junior high puberty had hit her like a bus and on her first day of seventh grade she'd wandered the hallways, a swan in ugly duckling's clothing. She had drawn the attention of the pretty, already-popular Jessica when she shared a textbook Jess had forgotten with her in world history class. Jess had taken one look at her outfit and tutted.  _You're so pretty,_ she'd said,  _You are in DIRE need of a makeover._

She'd spent the next weekend at Jess's, trying on outfit after outfit before letting her new friend give her a makeup tutorial.  _Look at you,_ she'd said when they were done,  _You're gorgeous._

After that day, they were practically inseparable.

On the day they went to the sea cliffs in the Palos Verdes Estates, Jess was talking Emily's ear off about the view, the beaches, the potential for awesome parties and swimming days and ice cream shacks and cute boys in swim trunks. Outside the window, the Los Angeles suburbs and mini-malls turned into beachside towns and billboards advertising beach houses and motor boats. The sun was high in the sky, the trees a bright summer green, the gulls crying loudly in the distance.

When they'd gotten to the cliffs, standing over the sprawling beaches and taking in the sea-salted air, Emily had turned to Jess and, before she could stop herself, said:

"Hey, Jess? Are we friends?"

Jess had giggled.

"Of course we are! Why wouldn't we be?"

"I dunno. Whatever. Dumb question. Sorry."

"Don't say sorry when you don't need to," Jess had told her. "You say that a lot, and people will think you're...uh, what's the word...Oh yeah! Insecure. They'll think you're insecure and they'll be mean to you. That's what my dads always say." She'd nodded sagely.

"My mom says that too," Emily had replied, "I just, I dunno, like, I want people to like me."

"Me too," Jess had said, "But! If you dress real good and act super cool, people will want to be near you. And if they're still mean, just be like, ' _fuck_ them'!"

"Jess! Did you just  _swear?_ _"_

"Yeah, I did." Jess looked confused for a minute, then sympathetic.

"Oh honey," she said, "We've got a _lot_ of work to do."

\------------

Seven years, some laser-eye surgery, countless girls' nights, one high school diploma, two boyfriends, a Pomona College acceptance letter, one best-friend-breakup, two lodge trips, an endless supply of trauma, one best-friend-makeup, and six dead friends later, Emily was once again driving with Jessica to the Palos Verdes Estates.

Emily kept her eyes on the road as the sun set and they got nearer and nearer to the cliffs. Jess was humming quietly along to the radio. Neither of them spoke. The sky outside was a watercolor mix of burnt orange and deep lilac. A few whips clouds, like filaments of cotton, drifted in the mild wind. As the color of the sky deepened and darkened and the smell of the sea came wafting through the cracked-open windows, Emily let her gaze flicker over to Jessica, who was staring impassively out the window.

"Do you remember the first time the two of us came down here?" Emily asked.

Jess nodded, her expression still unreadable.

"You asked me if we were friends."

"I was an insecure little nobody. Of course I asked you if we were friends. I'd never had one before; I didn't know how it worked."

They were quiet again for a while. Emily breathed in the scent of Jessica's perfume, mixed with the salty air in an oddly pleasant cocktail of smells. Two fingers on her left hand tapped absently against the steering wheel.

Jessica broke the silence.

"I'm glad we don't hate each other anymore."

"Yeah," Emily said. "I still can't really believe we were actually like that."

"It's just," Jess sighed, "after everything with that stupid prank, I wanted somebody to blame that wasn't me. Blaming you was easy. And everything with Mike just made it worse, you know?"

"Yeah."

They spent the rest of the drive not saying anything more. The last of the dying sun's light faded from the sky, and in came the dark blue hues of night, like an inky flood.

\------------

The sound of crashing waves and the stray cries of the few people still on the beach reached them as they got out of Emily's car and headed toward the edge of the cliffs. Ever since the whole fiasco with the deer (seriously, what the hell had  _that_  been about?), Emily had been wary around cliffs, but with Jessica by her side, she felt brave enough to walk to the end of the ledge and look out at the churning black ocean. The tide was high, the Pacific unquiet. On the beaches below, a few scattered fires lit up the night. A light wind hit her face, blowing through her short dark hair. Jessica stood beside her. Her hair was short now too, and back to its natural soft brown. Emily had always preferred her hair like that, but she'd been careful to not say anything about it since her best friend's decision to bleach it.

Jessica's first attempt to dye her hair had been in eighth grade, with Emily helping her apply the cheap, store-bought product. The whole thing had been a total disaster, and Jess had spent the next week stuffing her hair into hats and trying to make the look fashionable. Thankfully she'd gotten it professionally done not long after that. Emily smiled at the memory. What a ridiculous afternoon that had been, the two of them screaming with shock and frustration and making the neighbors worry that somebody was being murdered.

"What are you smiling at?" Jess asked, a little suspiciously.

"It's nothing", Emily said, fighting the urge to laugh, then, "Remember when we tried to dye your hair?"

"Oh my God," Jessica said, covering her face with her hand and smiling in spite of herself, "Don't remind me."

"Didn't one of your neighbors almost call the cops?"

"I think one guy actually did, but somebody told him everything was fine and we were just being stupid and he stopped mid-call."

"God, even back then we were having the cops called on us."

"It's a miracle we've never been arrested."

"It's on my bucket list."

The two of them burst into laughter. Emily almost bent double. God, she hadn't laughed like this in what felt like years. As she raised a hand to wipe the tears from her eyes, she felt delicate fingers wrap around her other hand. Emily moved her thumb back and forth across the skin of Jessica's hand, enjoying the warmth that spread between them.

"It's too bad we can't see the stars," Emily said after a brief period of silence.

"I guess I've just gotten used to not seeing them," Jess replied, "But yeah."

"Hey, Jess?"

"Yeah?"

Emily turned to face her. Jessica was beautiful in the faint moonlight. Soft, pale light bathed her lovely face. Her scars had faded, and some of the old, careless light had returned to her eyes.

"Thanks."

Jessica cocked her head.

"For what?"

Emily shook her head, laughed a little. She linked their free hands so that the two faced each other in a loose, slow dancers' embrace.

"For being alive."

She leaned in and kissed her, pressing lightly against her lips and savoring her taste. Over the cliffs, the moon's reflection rippled in the sea, traveling in step with its sky-nestled counterpart like an old lover whose heart had grown accustomed to beating at the same rate as its beloved.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Cheesy dialogue at the end? Yeah. But whatever.  
> Thanks for reading! Man, after all the angst I've been writing, it was nice to finally write something sweet.  
> Not sure when I'll be able to update "The Widows", but I'll try my best to keep up with it.  
> Feedback is always appreciated.  
> Happy Valentines Day!  
> (P.S. For anyone wondering what Ashley was doing, she was at her house, practicing for a presentation for her lit class the next day. She had weeks to prepare but she waited until the last minute. It was a long night for the poor child. But you better believe she aced the presentation. My sweet, procrastinating daughter.)


End file.
